Supermom...let's be honest.

 
 
 
The dream...

The dream...

 

Here's a question for you: 

How do you do it all ?

Do what ? What does that even mean ? I've come to understand it as supermom.  

Magazines, Pinterest and even Facebook would like to us to think there are people who ALWAYS make the perfect meals, who's homes are always immaculate and perfectly decorated. They homeschool their children with ease. They run a business, blog or work on the side and know how to have a work/life balance. Their clothing, bedding, home decor are all DIY and they create beautiful quilts. A beautiful garden and canning are a given, as is cloth diapering their babes. These women never raise their voices, lose their cool or use television to...ahem..."babysit" their kids. Involvement in every church activity and volunteer outreach is a given. Homemade yogurt, cheese, bread, etc are a weekly occurrence.  Colour coordinated, themed birthday parties are expected. These women stay in size 4 shape, look put together and stylish at all times and never wear the "mommy" uniform... and the list goes on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything bad about those things. In fact I think all of those things are great and I can say I have done most of those at one time or another, BUT there's only so much of me and so much time in a day. I have decided that I am not keeping up with what the world sees as "doing it all". Besides who says we HAVE to do it all ? Why the impossible standard? Maybe it's just me that's felt this way, I want to enjoy my life and what I do. When there's the added pressure to "do it all" and do it all perfectly, it takes the joy right out of it and makes you want to give up. Which can make you not want to try anything, even if it's something you've always wanted to do. 

So here's the truth...I can't do it all. At one point I tried to, but I was miserable and felt like I wasn't keeping the standard anyways... especially when I started homeschooling the kids ! Anyone who looks like they have it all together ALL.THE.TIME. probably don't. They also probably don't have kids or homeschool, or work, or have a life really. There is no such thing as superwoman/supermom. 

I am a wife, full time stay at home mom to 4 kids. I homeschool grade 1,3, 5 and have a toddler. I run a home based business, I create planners, run a home, cook, clean and everything else involved in family life. The rooms in my house are rarely clean all at the same time, sometimes we eat takeout, my garden has more weeds than plants and clean, unfolded laundry often gets moved from one surface to another a couple times before it gets folded and put away. Can you relate? 

Everyone/family/woman/ mom is different. There are different strength and abilities, as well as different stages of life. Everyone also has different priorities and interests. Maybe you could care less about colour coordinated parties or DIY projects, that's ok !! How boring would it be if we were all the same ? 

 I'm not aiming to be supermom/superwoman anymore. I'm just trying to be the best me/wife/mom/business woman I can be. How do I do that ?  Here's my number one go to strategy...I simplify ! I continually take a look at my life and what is a priority and necessary. For example,  I tried cloth diapers; they are really cute and I love the idea behind them, but something had to go because I didn't have time for the extra laundry. With my hard water, the diapers had to go thru a huge long process that involved extra water and a 4+ hour cycle.  I have enough laundry to do on a daily basis as it is and we share the machine with two of my brothers that live with us. So guess what ? I stopped. Does that make me a failure ? NO ! 

Same with kombucha making...love the stuff, but it was time consuming and I don't have the space for all the bottles, brewing station, etc. So I stopped.

I would LOVE to make my own bread, but after many failed attempts I gave up...seriously even in the bread machine I couldn't get it!! So I buy my bread instead. Guess what? I'm ok with that. And my family prefers the store bought bread to the rock loaves I was making ;)

We don't HAVE to do it all ! Sometimes I still have to remind myself of this. 

 I'm so tired of the pressure that is on us as women these days. It's exhausting ! Sometimes just making it thru the day, let alone getting everyone schooled and fed,  and a load of laundry done. Anyone else ?

My second strategy is planning. Not just planning, but actually implementing it. Ha! Now that's a funny concept ! At one time I spent so much time "planning" on Pinterest, that I didn't have time to actually do what I was planning...meals, cleaning plans, school schedule, etc. Unfortunately, planning won't implement itself ! Try not to get distracted when planning or discouraged if your "plan" doesn't work out. Use it more as a guideline. Anyways, I digress...

There is no such thing as supermom. I tried to be supermom and I was lonely because I didn't have time to connect in my relationships. And I was angry because I was so concerned with keeping a perfect house at all times...which is pretty much impossible with children...that I was angry at what I saw as the source of the messy house, which sadly was my children. Oh how I wish I could go back a few years and have a redo !

So mamas, please stop measuring yourself by other peoples standards, stop comparing and stop trying to "do it all".  You have a big, important job to do and it doesn't help heaping perfectionism on top of it. Now put the cape down, relax and allow yourself to enjoy your life and responsibilities.